Silver
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: After everything that happened in Cuba Charles decides to continue with his plan of opening his school. First he's going to need some teachers. Who's his first recruit? Slash. Slight self-harm.
1. Eyes

I own nothing. Slash. Some kissiness. Some mentions of self-harm. This chapter will be explained as you read. Review. Check back on this chapter for updated colors!

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Dull Orange = Tiredness

Lilac = Annoyed

Magenta = Curious

White = Anger

Cobalt = Surprise

Gold = Sadness

Sapphire = Nervous

Sea Foam = Amazement

Rose = Amusement

Amethyst = Contentment

Pearl = Pride

Mint = Depression

Emerald = Suicidal

Amber = Shock

Cornflower = Confidence

Gunmetal = Lust


	2. Chapter 1

I own nothing. Slash. Some kissiness. Some mentions of self-harm. Review.

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"Come on Jazz," I said to myself, "Time to get up."

A groan fell from my lips as I rolled off of my bed and onto my floor. Maybe I wasn't as much of a morning person as I claimed to be. Shaking my head quickly I made my way into my bathroom and stopped in front of the mirror.

I never found it difficult to fit in. My curly black hair was cut close to my head, but still enough to see just how curly it was. My skin was so snowy white it was like it had never touched the sun. I was twenty and of normal height, 5' 8".

See, everything about me was normal. Well, at least until you came to my eyes. That was when things started to get weird. My eyes were like a mood ring. Whatever I felt was the color they changed to. Unless I felt a mix of emotions. Then they flickered between those colors.

Right now they were a dull orange. That meant that I was tired. And not just in the 'not awake' sense of the word. Though right now it did just mean that I wasn't awake just yet.

That was part of my mutation. That's right I'm a mutant. Call the CIA! Hehe, just kidding. They'd never be able to break me. I had the ability to read, control, and force emotions.

This gift came to me when I was rather young. Only five years old. I will never forget that night. Mom, Dad, and I were busy making dinner when Dad's sleeve caught on fire.

Let me be the first, and hopefully last, person to tell you that feeling your Dad freaking out and burning alive, your Mom freaking out, and yourself freaking out when your five is not the best way to find out you're a mutant.

Dad died that day. Again two people of different ages and having different relationships with the person mourning is not something that is fun. I survived with minimal scarring though.

Shaking my head once again I quickly got ready for school. It was funny going into a class for psychology and being able to read every person in that room better then they could read themselves.

As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom I felt myself go ridged. Someone was in my house. Who could be here though? I lived alone since my mom found out about my gift and I made sure no one else knew where I truly lived until I trusted the person. So far that was no one.

"Mr. Cross," a male voice said in a British accent, "There's no need to be afraid."

"A stranger in my house without my permission," I said sarcastically, "Yup, no reason at all."

Truthfully, I knew that there was no reason to be afraid. Whoever this man was he had no intention of harming me, but that did not forgive him for just appearing in my home.

"I did knock, Mr. Cross," the voice said in amusement.

"Are you in my head?" I asked crossing my arms.

"I am. I am a telepath."

"Awesome, forewarning though. If you're in my head I'm in your heart. Which do you think is going to hurt more?"

The stranger was quiet for a moment and part of me had hoped that he had left, but that was just a dream. Okay, so most of me wanted nothing more then to go see what this man looked like.

"You are an empath. Fascinating. Would you mind if we did this face to face? Talking to a wall is not my favorite past time."

Sighing I walked into my living room and saw a man in a wheelchair in front of me. I had to admit this man was very attractive. Alright, seeing him wasn't such a bad thing.

"Your eyes," he said in slight surprise, "They keep changing between two different colors."

"What colors?" I asked trying to keep my voice calm.

"Between Lilac and Magenta."

"Lilac means I'm annoyed and Magenta means curious."

"Amazing."

Feeling the annoyingness turn into anger I knew that my eyes were pure white right then. This man was making me feel like I was some sort of freak. I was a mutant, yes, but not a freak. Never a freak.

"White means?" he asked curiously.

"Anger," I growled out.

"I have angered you."

"Quite."

"Would you feel better if I introduced myself?"

"Maybe."

"I am Charles Xavier. As you know I am a mutant like you. At the moment in time I am working on opening a school for children like us. A safe haven if you will. Where they will learn how to control their gifts. And I want you to teach."

I felt myself step backwards in surprise. My eyes were probably a cobalt blue by now. No one had known what I could do and still wanted to be around me. Not even my Mom had.

Alright, so this might be my first meeting with a mutant. I still couldn't believe it though. He was a complete stranger, but he wanted me to work for him simply because I was a mutant?

"Mr. Cross?" Charles asked rolling forward.

"Jazz," I said softly.

"What?"

"I prefer Jazz. Hearing my last name makes me think of my Dad."

Images of my Dad laughing and playing with me instantly filled my head. They were so happy. Suddenly all I could see was him burning alive. Screaming for me to look away and for Mom to get help.

"I am truly sorry, Jazz," Charles said after a moment.

"I told you," I said shaking my head, "If you're in my mind then I'm in your heart."

"My apologies. I do not wish to be rude, but this is how I get to know someone."

"Well, no offense, Charles, but I don't like it. If you want to know me ask. Don't invade my space and assume that everything will turn out right."

"You're right. Shall we start again?"

"No, we'll just learn for our mistakes. This conversation might take awhile. I'll just skip class and we can talk. Would you like something to eat or drink?"

"If you have class…"

"It's review day so I'm not going to miss anything. Food? Drinks?"

Seeing Charles nod I lead him into the kitchen. I didn't have all that much in my home. Most of my money went to paying my bills. Luckily, my fridge was filled with… Air.

"Sorry, Charles," I said shutting the door, "I only have water and maybe some crackers. That might be a stretch though."

"You do not have much money?" Charles asked linking his fingers together.

"I work minimal wage while going to college in a four bedroom house that I have to constantly repair. I'm lucky if I eat most days."

"That's not very good for you, Jazz."

"You do what you have to do. Is water alright with you?"

"Yes, of course."

With a nod of my head I grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard and filled them with room temperature water. I could feel the worry rolling off of Charles, but by there was nothing he could do about it in the end.

"There is something I can do," Charles said calmly, "If you come teach."

"I told you," I said with a shake of my head, "To stay out of my head."

Charles opened his mouth to say something when he a gasp fell from his lips. His body bent in half as he pressed his chest to his legs. A second later he a soft sigh fell from his lips as his body went limp.

It took a moment, but slowly he sat up. He's eyes were filled with wonder and confusion when his eyes meant mine. It didn't seem like he felt any anger towards me though.

"Your eyes are gold," Charles said softly.

"I'm sad," I said staring at him, "I don't like doing that."

"Then why do it?"

"My mind is my own. I need you to stay out of it."

"Why?"

"You read minds. Can you read emotions?"

"Not as much as you. But if I'm in the persons mind I can read the basics of the emotions."

"I'm the opposite way. Charles, I fear if you're in my mind that you won't be able to handle it."

"Maybe I try?"

"You want to feel what I am feeling right now? Okay, but fair warning this will hurt."

"Your eyes are sapphire now."

"I'm nervous. We should do this before I change my mind."

Kneeling in front of Charles I offered him my hand. Without any hesitation he rested his hand in mine. He really wanted to know what I was feeling right now? Maybe he wasn't as smart as he seemed.

"Last chance," I said staring into his eyes.

When Charles didn't pull away I let out a soft sigh. Closing my eyes I let myself connect with his heart. I felt myself hesitate when I felt his peace and happiness, but he was just as curious too.

My body slowly started to warm up as I let my gift run from me and into Charles. Making sure that his emotions were my main focus I made sure to introduce the emotions slowly.

Charles breathing gradually speed up with the more emotions I showed him. I was trying to do everything slowly so he wouldn't get hurt, but I knew in the end he would be hurt.

Once all the emotions were flowing between the two of us I felt Charles curiosity fade into pure pain and anguish. I kept the emotions inside of him until tears were streaming down his face and his body was shaking.

"That's what I feel," I said slowly pulling the emotions out, "That's what I don't want you to feel if you break into my mind."

"You feel that all the time?" Charles asked as he tried to get control over himself again.

"Depends on the people around me. I've been able to expand my gift. Anyone within half a mile of me I feel."

"You can't pull back?"

"I could if I wished to. I can do a lot with my gift."

"But you don't. Why not?"

"I just don't."

Turning away from Charles I rested my hands on the counter. I could feel his emotions still running through my body. More likely then not I had fresh cuts on my back once more.

That was the down fail of my gift. Any time I used it I would be just as hurt as the person, but since I could take the emotions it had to come in a different way. That's why my body was littered with scars.

"Jazz," Charles said causing me to turn around, "Your eyes are gold again. I apologize. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"It's alright, Charles. You're curious. You want to help our kind. I can understand that. So, tell me about this school you're opening."

Charles seemed to light up at the idea. It seemed like he was in his element when he was talking about learning. He would make an amazing headmaster or professor depending on what he wanted.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of amazement fill me. This was what I was hoping to do after I got my degree. Help mutants like myself. Give them a place where they felt safe, even for just a moment.

As he spoke about his school and ideals I saw just the kind of person he was. A little naive in the best of situations, but a good guy. Though he'd be better if he had a little more balance in him.

"Your eyes are sea foam green," Charles said staring at me.

"I'm amazed by you," I said smiling.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, Charles, I would love to teach at your school."


	3. Chapter 2

I own nothing. Slash. Some kissiness. Some mentions of self-harm. **REVIEW AND CHECK BACK ON THE 'EYES' CHAPTER FOR UPDATED COLORS!**

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"Here we are, Jazz," Charles said as we came to stop in front of a mansion, "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters."

"Youngsters?" I asked amused.

"Yes. Rose."

I stared at Charles like he was insane before I remembered that my eyes turned rose colored when I was amused. Maybe I should make a list because it's even hard for me to keep track sometimes.

"Jealous?" I asked tightening my grip on my bag, "You just wish your eyes were this wicked."

"Are you saying you don't like my eyes?" Charles asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I never said that, Darling."

Charles stared at me in confusion as a laugh slipped from my lips. I had thought that he was a flirt, considering how many woman he flirted with on our trip here. Maybe it was that I was a man.

Truthfully, I flirted with anyone, though I was gay. I loved flirting with people though. The small blush that came to their cheeks, the smile on their lips, even the comments that came back if they weren't too surprised.

Part of me had been hoping that Charles was the type that would flirt back, but it seemed that I was wrong. Once again I found myself having a crush on a straight man that I was going to see everyday.

"Your eyes are fading to gold once more," Charles said softly, "Why are you sad?"

"I got lost in my thoughts," I said with a shake of my head, "Is there anyone else I need to meet or am I going directly to my room?"

"There are some students. Alex, Sean, and Hank. I am hoping to bring more children in, but I am trying to set everything up first."

Nodding my head I followed Charles as he walked into the mansion. My family hadn't been poor, but this was way out of our price range even when both Mom and Dad had high paying jobs.

The grand tour took almost half an hour and ended at my bedroom. Charles said that I was able to do anything with it as long as I was here. For some reason I felt like I never wanted to leave.

After putting my bag down we went down to what Charles called the Common Room. There were three people inside. Two of them were acting out a football game while the third read.

"Everyone," Charles said causing them to look at us, "This is our new teacher. Jazz Cross. He'll be teaching you psychology and sociology."

The three people stared at me in curiosity, anger, but I also felt some fear. It was mostly coming off of a boy that was covered in blue fur. The blonde boy was the one holding the anger though. The brown haired boy held the curiosity mostly.

"Hello," I said waving.

"Wow," the brown haired boy said staring at me, "Your eyes changed colors."

"They do that a lot. What color are they?"

"Like an amethyst color, but they're going back to that rose color."

"Amethyst is contentment while rose is amusement."

"Why do they do that?"

"I'm an empath. They change like a mood ring. It's part of my gift."

The boys stared at me for a moment before nodding. The curiosity grew as I spoke, but the fear and anger were still there. I really wasn't sure what I felt about already feeling attached to these boys.

"Jazz," Charles said calmly, "This is Hank McCoy, Alex Summers, and Sean Cassidy."

"So you're a mutant, like us," Alex said crossing his arms, "How do we know we can trust you?"

"You don't," I said with a shrug, "But you also don't know if you can't. You have to try. Just like I have to try to trust you."

Alex stared at me for a moment longer before nodding his head in consent. He was going to try and for some reason I felt proud at that. What was going on with me lately?

"Pearl," Charles said softly.

"Pride," I said smiling.

Charles smiled back at me before motioning for me to follow him once more. Waving at the children I calmly let him lead me back to what I had earlier learned was his office.

When the door closed behind us I couldn't help but look at Charles. He really was an attractive man. If we had been in a bar I would probably have my tongue in his mouth already.

Truthfully though I didn't know if he would be attracted to me at all. For some reason I felt like it would be wrong if I could feel his emotions when I asked him not to read my mind.

"You're sad again," Charles said staring up at me.

Looking away from Charles I let myself sigh. It was times like this I hated emotions. Not only that anyone could see them in my eyes, but that I wasn't sure about what I was feeling.

I had known this man for a few hours at the most. Yet I wanted nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with him. It made no sense, but they were my emotions. That much I was sure of.

"What does mint mean?" Charles asked curiously.

"Depressed," I muttered knowing my voice was barely loud enough for him to hear, "Is there anything else, Charles?"

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"No."

"I am here if you need to talk, Jazz."

"I know. May I leave?"

"Of course. I will see you in the morning?"

"Yes. Goodnight, Charles."

Before Charles could say anything else I made my way out of the room and down the hall way. As a teacher I was going to be living away from the students, but still close enough to reach them if need be.

I couldn't help but be happy about that. Most of my life I might have been in the middle of the city or around people, but I never liked having them too close to me. It didn't feel right.

When I got to my room and closed the door behind me and leaned against it. I knew there was a reason that I hated getting close to people. I hated going crazy when I started to like a person.

Why was it I could have perfect control over another's emotions, but as soon as I tried to even understand mine I felt like crying? It had been that way my entire life and I was beginning to hate it more everyday.

Shaking my head I slowly walked into the bathroom and stopped in front of the mirror. My eyes were now a deep emerald green. That was the color my eyes were most of the time. Too bad it meant suicidal.

Charles and the students could never know what that color meant though. I didn't know how they would react. Anyway, I'd rather deal with this on my own. It's what I deserved.

A hiss fell from my lips as I lifted my shirt up. I could feel the blood start to flow down my back again, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I had felt this pain for fifteen years. Luckily I could control when it happened though.

I shook my head when I realized where my thoughts were heading. Right now I needed to keep my emotions to myself. If I accidentally let my emotions loose and they hurt anyone I'd never forgive myself.

Turning the shower water on I striped off the last of my clothes and got in. The water was almost scolding, but I didn't reach for the cold water. This was one of the things that I had done since my gift came. Anything to get me to feel only one thing.

I let the water run over me until it turned cold before shutting it off. Wrapping a towel around my waist I slowly made my way back into my room and calmly climbed into bed.

For as long as I could remember I had slept without any clothes on, but now that I was living with other people maybe I should try. As my eyes slipped shut I decided that I would try tomorrow.

Normally I was very good at not having any dreams, but tonight was quite different. I could see Charles in the library staring out of the window. He had such a sadness about him.

"Charles," I said walking up behind him, "What is going on in that head of yours?"

Instead of saying anything Charles pushed his emotions towards me. A gasp almost fell from my lips when I felt the depression that was in the man. What was he so sad about?

Soon the emotions kept growing and I wanted him to never feel that again. Without thinking I allowed the emotions to fill me completely, drawing them away from him before pushing a calmness towards him.

I could feel my skin being ripped apart and I knew I should stop; that Charles could handle it, but I couldn't. No one should have to do with this emotions. If I could help I was going to.

"Jazz," Charles said surprised.

Gasping I felt myself roll out of bed and fall onto the floor. A loud groan let my bed and I went limp on the ground. I had never had a dream like that in my entire life before.

Slowly standing up I let out another groan. Half of it was from pain while the other half was from the blood that was now on the bed and floor. How was I supposed to one explain that, two clean it up?

A knock came to the door causing me to jump. It wasn't easy to sneak up on me, but I was so out of it from the dream and from sleepiness I couldn't say I was all that surprised. That didn't mean I was happy about it though.

"Who is it?" I said going to my bag and pulling some clothes out.

"It's Charles," he said calmly, "May I please come in?"

"Umm…Can we talk somewhere else?"

"Jazz?"

"Please, Charles?"

"No, Jazz, we need to talk. Now."

Sighing I tightened the towel that was lucky still around my waist and opened the door. Charles let out a shocked gasp causing my eyes to shut hoping that if they were closed that this was still part of the dream.

"What happened?" Charles said an edge to his voice.

"I might not have told you everything about my gift," I said softly.

Charles shot me a confused look but moved to wheel himself into my room. Another gasp fell from his lips as soon as he was inside. How was I supposed to explain this part of my gift to someone?

No one had seen this part of my gift before. I was so sure that people would think I was suicidal and lock me up. Alright, so part of me was suicidal, but no one needed to know that.

"Jazz," Charles said staring at me, "What does this have to do with your gift?"

"If I use my powers to push or pull emotions I get…Umm…Punished in a way. The emotions start to literally pull me apart."

Charles placed a hand on my stomach and pushed me until I was sitting on my bed. I sat still as he looked over the fresh cuts and the old scars, his hands running over them.

Ever since my gift had come in I had done everything to make sure no one was able to see me like this. Not just this side of my gift, but without clothes at all. Yes, that meant that I was still a virgin.

A twenty year old virgin. You'd be surprised by how many people my age actually haven't had sex yet. Not saying they didn't want to, but they were still waiting for the right person or waiting to get drunk enough. Whichever came first.

"Have you never tried to stop this?" Charles asked calmly.

"I did," I said with a shrug, "But I couldn't. I didn't have enough strength."

"I can help you."

"I know you can, but I don't want help with this."

"Jazz, if you do not try to learn to control this it will kill you. It's going to kill you one day. "

"Then I die."


	4. Chapter 3

I own nothing. Slash. Some mentions of self-harm. My apologies if my French is off. Got it from a Translator. **REVIEW AND CHECK BACK ON THE 'EYES' CHAPTER FOR UPDATED COLORS!**

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"Hello, Professor Cross," Hank said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hello," I said looking around the room, "Do you have any idea if there is some tea here?"

"Over the sink."

"Thank you."

As I get everything out for my tea I couldn't help but focus in on Hank's emotions. He held so much fear and self-hatred. Was it because of his mutation or something else?

That was the one thing I hated more then anything. I hated feeling self-hatred. At the end of the day the only person you could truly rely on was yourself. There was no point in hating yourself.

Yes, I knew that sounded weird coming from someone who once pointed out he was suicidal. In my defense, I don't hate myself. In fact, I love everything that I am. I'm just not very good at handling everything I am. If that made sense.

Anyway, this was about Hank. There had to be some way to get him to see that there was no reason to hate himself. I just had to figure that way out. I mean, how hard could it be?

"Hank," I said sitting across from him, "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong?" Hank asked not looking up from his book.

"Empath."

A soft sigh fell from Hank's lips before he finally looked up at me. The self-hatred seemed to grow as he stared at me. I felt blood start to drip down my leg as I started to push a sense of calm at him.

Charles had told me that I was not to use this part of my power until he and I were able to talk about it more, but I had to. I wasn't going to let someone sit in front of me and not do everything that I could.

"Talk to me, Hank," I said softly, "Nothing you say will leave this room if you don't want it to. Think of me as if I was the school counselor. All you have to do is talk."

Hank continued to stare at me before slowly nodding his head. He wanted to talk to me. That was a good thing. Talking almost always helped at least a little. Now to wait for him to say something.

"I'm a freak," Hank said softly.

"Okay," I said with a nod.

"What? You're supposed to say that I'm not. Say that being a mutant isn't all that bad. That it'll all be okay. I just have to learn how to live like this."

"Why would I say that? Hank, it's not me who has to live with this. It's not Charles or Alex or Sean. It's you. It's your voice that you need to listen to. This though. It's not going to go away. So, what are you going to do about it?"

Feeling confusion fill Hank I realized that he was probably thinking about what I said. Right now that was all I could do for him. Although I couldn't exactly move to leave right now.

I hadn't really done much to help Hank in the way of emotions, but it was still enough that there was now a small puddle of blood on the ground. Oh, this was not good at all.

"Hank," Charles said rolling into the kitchen, "Would you mind giving Jazz and I a moment alone?"

With a nod of his head Hank left the kitchen. I could feel the worry rolling off of him and I couldn't blame him. Even without my gift I could see just how angry Charles was right now.

Without saying anything he rolled into the room and placed a towel in my hand. Alright so he was extremely mad at me, but knew that no matter what I was going to use my gift. Now for him to say something.

Truthfully though there was nothing he could say that would make me not use my gift. I loved helping people more than I could explain. I couldn't believe that he couldn't see that.

Hank was just one person and as much as he hated himself I knew that that situation could be fixed rather easily. There were so many other people out there that I could help.

So what if I got ripped apart as the emotions of others slowly destroyed me? At least I was doing something that I loved. At least I was helping people that needed help. I was going to do that.

Still, I didn't like that Charles was upset with me. I hated whenever anyone was upset with me. When someone I had a crush on was upset with me though it was so much worse.

"I thought we agreed on you not using that side of your powers until you got it better under control," Charles said calmly.

"No," I said shaking my head, "You agreed on that. I agreed that I'd work with you to help me, but I'm not stopping."

"You're going to die."

"I helped Hank."

Charles stared at me before taking the now blood soaked rag from my hands. He stared at it angrily for a moment before placing the towel on the table in front of me and turning away.

"Cornflower," Charles said softly.

"Confident," I said equally as soft, "I'm sorry, Charles. I wish there was a different way, but this is how it has to be. I have to help them."

"I go from being friends with a man who will do anything, even die, for revenge to being friends with a man who will do anything, even die, to try to protect people who he doesn't even know."

Staring at Charles I wondered why he was telling me this. He didn't seem like the type of person that would open up like this to someone that he didn't know. What had changed?

"Did he?" I asked kneeling in front of him.

"Did he what?" Charles asked staring into my eyes

"Did he die?"

"No. He left. He just left."

As Charles spoke I noticed that his voice took on a slightly…Broken quality. Whomever it was that left must have meant a lot to the man. Him leaving must have broken his heart.

Why was Charles telling me all of this? What did he think would happen now that I knew? Or was he just so tired of keeping it all in that he was telling the first person he could?

I didn't like that. Charles was trying to take care of everything around the school, but it seemed as if he needed someone to take care of him. I didn't see a problem with me doing that.

Placing a hand on his leg I slowly started to push calming feelings towards him. If I was able to clear his mind then I hopefully I'd be able to help him. I just wanted to help him.

"Stop that," Charles said pulling away from me.

"Charles, you need…" I tried to explain.

"I do not need faked emotions."

"I'm not faking your emotions. I'm helping you clear your mind."

"You're hurting yourself."

"I'd be more hurt if stood back and watched a friend in pain when I knew I could do something about it."

A soft sigh slipped from Charles lips before he shook his head. It looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out the right words. That seemed like something that didn't happen a lot to the man.

Charles had brought me here to teach the children mostly, but, on an unconscious level, he brought me here for himself as well. Even without using my gift I would be able to pickup if he was lying.

He needed someone that was going to call him on all of his lies. His students were never going to do that. Okay, I had no problem being the one to do that. Though it might mean him hates me at the end of the day.

"You're eyes are gold again," Charles said softly.

"They're that color a lot," I said nodding, "That and emerald."

"What color does that stand for?"

Standing up slowly I turned away from him for a moment. I needed to get my head on straight before I answered that. Downing the last of my tea I placed the mug in the sink before turning to him.

"I pray you never find out, Charles," I said staring into his eyes, "I pray you never find out."

Without another word I made my way out of the kitchen knowing that I shouldn't have said that. After last night I had given Charles many reasons not to trust me. Now, it was like I was begging him to look into my mind.

Maybe in a way I was. I hated talking about myself. Hated people being concerned about me in anyway. With Charles he could see directly into my mind and know what I needed when I needed it. It could be good for me.

I was walking through the Common Room to get into the library when the door slammed in my face. Sighing I turned around and saw that Charles was slowly rolling into the room.

"What does emerald mean?" Charles asked as the door behind him closed.

"Charles," I said sighing.

"Tell me or I will be forced to look into your mind."

Sighing once more I fell onto the couch and buried my face in my hands. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. As much as I wanted to open up to the telepath I just didn't know how to explain everything that was going on in my mind to anyone.

Was it supposed to be this hard opening up to another being? Who was I kidding. I didn't belong around other people. I knew that. What was I even thinking trying to be a teacher?

I stood up a second later and slowly moved around Common Room until I was in front of Charles. Kneeling in front of the man I rested my head on his legs and closed my eyes.

Before I could say anything Charles was resting a hand on the side of my head and tilting my head up until we were staring at each other. Slowly he moved his other hand up and rested it on the side of his head.

As the silence filled the room I watched Charles slowly go through my mind. Memory after memory ran through my mind quicker then I thought was possible. Was he really understanding everything that he was seeing?

"You speak French?" Charles asked calmly.

"_Oui,_" I whispered as my eyes shut.

"When did you learn?"

"I was…"

"In French."

My eyes slowly opened until I was looking into Charles eyes once more. Did he understand French or did he want me to explain the things that were going on in my memories?

_"J'avais dix ans. Je n'ai pas d'amis quand j'étais plus jeune. Je n'ai toujours pas. Je détestais l'idée d'aller dans ma maison et d'être seule. Ma mère venait de me quitter. J'ai commencé à aller dans les classes d'apprentissage annexe et en prenant au hasard."_

"I didn't understand a word of that."

Laughing softly I couldn't help but smile. Why Charles had wanted me to speak in French if he didn't understand it I had no idea, but I was willing to amuse him, as long as it didn't hurt us in the end.

"I was ten," I repeated in English, "I didn't have friends when I was younger. I still don't. I hated the idea of going into my home and being alone. My Mother had just left me. I started to go to the learning annex and taking random classes."

"You're fluent in it now?" Charles asked calmly.

"I am."

"Would you like to teach French as well?"

"_J'aimerais beaucoup que._ I would love that."

Charles nodded his head calmly before pulling away from me fully. As he did I saw so much sadness in his eyes that the only thing I wanted to do was pull him into a hug and erase everything he had seen.

"Suicidal," Charles said softly, "Emerald means your suicidal."

"_Oui_," I said with a nod.

"It'll be okay, Jazz. I'll help you."

"I don't know if you can, Charles."


	5. Chapter 4

I own nothing. Slash. Some mentions of self-harm. My apologies if my French is off. Got it from a Translator. Some slash kissiness. **REVIEW AND CHECK BACK ON THE 'EYES' CHAPTER FOR UPDATED COLORS!**

* * *

"_Bonjour_," I said walking into the classroom, "_Mon nom est Cross Jazz. Je serai votre professur Français_."

"It's just the four of us, Professor Jazz," Alex said rolling his eyes, "You can chill."

"_Je voudrais 'refroidir', mais je trouve ça marrant de te contrarier. Donc, je vais seulement parler en français jusqu'à ce que vous comprenez ce que je dis_."

Alex rolled his eyes at me before moving to stand up. Sean grabbed his arm and gave him a pleading look. Was something going on between the two of them? Of course, Sean wanted to, but I wasn't so sure of Alex.

The blond was one of those people. The type of people whose emotions and thoughts jumped around so much that he had no idea what was going on. Hell, I could barely tell what was going on.

_"Si vous sortez de la porte tout le monde échoue_," I said smiling.

"I think '_échoue_' means 'fails'," Sean said nervously.

"I won't leave if he quits talking like that," Alex said glaring at me.

"_Déposer l'attitude_," I said airily.

A sigh fell from Alex's lips before he sat back down. Maybe he did like Sean or at least cared about him in some way. I'd have to see what would come up with that relationship.

"_Bonjour_," I said smiling, "Means 'Hello'. So, _Bonjour la classe_."

"_Bonjour,_" the class said softly.

"_Mon nom est Cross Jazz._ My name is Jazz Cross. _Je serai votre professur Français._ I'll be your French professor. _Je voudrais 'refroidir', mais je trouve ça marrant de te contrarier._ I would like 'chill', but I find it fun to annoy you._ Donc, je vais seulement parler en français jusqu'à ce que vous comprenez ce que je dis._ So I will only speak French until you understand what I'm saying. _Si vous sortez de la porte tout le monde échoue._ If you step outside the door everyone fails. _Déposer l'attitude._ Drop the attitude."

Taking a deep breath I looked around the room and shook my head. I loved talking in French. It really was just so much fun. Maybe I should visit France at some point in time.

"Okay, that was not worth it," I said smiling, "So don't make me do it again. And before you ask, yes, I will teach you all those nasty little words that are running through your heads. Mostly because it's fun. Partly because even if you do use them I'll be able to understand you."

"You're eyes," Hank said softly, "They're rose colored."

"I'm amused. Now, let's go. We have one hour of French. Wherever shall we start?"

As the class continued I found myself loving teaching. Sean was a natural at French while it was taking Alex and Hank awhile. The ginger was smiling happily though.

By the time we finished the class I found myself telling them to translate part of their favorite song into French. Taking something they love and using that to teach them seemed to make the lesson stick.

When I dismissed the class I felt the frustration coming off of Hank and Alex. It seemed Hank wasn't used to not understanding something while Alex was having a hard time focusing.

"_Professeur Cross_?" Sean said once everyone had left.

"_Oui_?" I said smiling.

"Do you know?"

"Know what, Sean?"

The ginger looked at the ground blushing while wrapping his arms around himself. He was shy. Either he didn't like talking about this or he hadn't talked about it before.

"About Professor X?" Sean said blushing.

"What about him?" I asked curiously.

"I think…The man that was here before, Erik, I think…I think they were together."

"As in friends or lovers?"

"L-Lovers."

I nodded my head at that. That would explain why Charles took his leaving so greatly, but when I flirted with him he did nothing. Was the ginger looking too far into this or what?

"Thank you, Sean," I said smiling, "Why don't you go find Alex? I'm sure you'd rather be there."

As Sean left the room I started to think more. This was what I was hoping for, a chance that Charles might want me, but I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. There was just something wrong with it.

Of course this is how everything would work out for me. It was the story of my life, but I knew that I was better off alone. That didn't stop me from wanting Charles though.

Every day it seemed like the two of us were getting closer. Revealing random secrets to the other person. Did that make a difference at the end of the day? Was something going to change?

After Charles found out that I was suicidal yesterday he insisted that I tell him everything about myself. Saying that that didn't work out well for either of us was an understatement.

We only talked for a few minutes before I felt myself completely shutting down. Talking was not a strong point for me. Even less of one when it was myself that I was talking about.

A few minutes of me not answering any questions Charles finally seemed to understand that I wasn't going to talk and let me leave the Common Room. I spent the rest of the day in my room thinking.

"Hello, Jazz," Charles said knocking me from my thoughts.

"_Bonjour_," I said draping my bag over my shoulder.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"No, I'm not."

"Would you mind coming with me then?"

"Charles, how long are we going to do this?"

Charles gave me a small smile before wheeling out of the room. It seemed as if I had no choice whether or not I was going to follow him. Why? Why did I want this man so much?

The telepath was nothing like the usual man I went after. He was smart and knew what he wanted. Also neither of us were so completely drunk that we wouldn't remember what happened in the morning.

We ended up in a room I hadn't seen on the tour he had given me. It was another simple bedroom so I could only guess that it was Charles room. Why would he bring me here?

"Tell me about Erik," I said as he closed the door.

The telepath froze at that. He had simply told me his friend had left. He never said the mans name before. Maybe he hadn't said it since he had left, but it was only fair that I get to know him if he knows me.

"Who told you his name?" Charles asked staring at the ground.

"Sean did," I said shrugging, "He seems to think that there is something going on between us."

"Something going on between us?"

"Yes, something…Sexual."

Charles eyes widened at that. His blue eyes started into mine before looking back at the ground. A shy Charles was hard to come by I thought as I kneeled in front of the man.

I couldn't get a good look into his eyes so I decided to see what he was feeling. He was confused, but he wanted me. Well, if Charles wanted it too I wasn't going to hold myself back.

"What do you say, Charles?" I asked gently rubbing a hand over his thigh, "Is there something…_Sexuelle_…Between us?"

Without waiting for him to answer I moved up and attached my lips to his. After a moment of him doing nothing I started to pull back only to have a hand thread into my hair and hold me to him.

"I loved Erik," Charles said pulling back, "But he never knew."

Sitting back I listened to Charles story. He told me about Erik and about his 'sister' Raven. He explained what happened in Cuba and how he ended up in a wheelchair.

The more I heard from the telepath the more I wondered if he was still in love with Erik. I would have asked him that too if Charles hand didn't link with mine half through it.

As Charles finished telling me everything I opened my mouth to say that we should go get something to eat. I didn't get any words out and the telepaths lips were once again attached to mine.

Part of me thought that it would be for the best if I just pulled away, but as I was about to his nails scratched down my neck gently causing me to groan. Damn my weak neck.

"Gunmetal," Charles said breaking the kiss and attaching his lips to my neck.

"L-Lust," I said my eyes fluttering shut.

"I like it."

"As do I. It's one of my favorites."


	6. Chapter 5

I own nothing. Slash. Some mentions of self-harm. My apologies if my French is off. Got it from a Translator. Some slash kissiness. **REVIEW AND CHECK BACK ON THE 'EYES' CHAPTER FOR UPDATED COLORS!**

* * *

"Jazz," Charles said rolling up to me.

"_Bonjour_," I said yawning loudly.

Charles gave me an amused smile before rolling so he was between the television and I. We had been playing this game for a few months now. Randomly coming clean about something from our pasts and then kissing for the rest of the time.

I had to admit that I liked this arrangement, but I was hoping for more one day. Truthfully, I was falling in love with the telepath. I had been able to keep that to myself so far though.

It wasn't that I didn't think that Charles loved me as well. He did. I had felt love coming off of him before and not just when we were kissing. No, he was just as much in love with me as I was with him.

Part of his heart still belonged to Erik though. I wasn't going to admit my love to the man until I was sure that he was ready for that. That meant waiting until he said it himself.

"Jazz," Charles said waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," I said smiling, "I got distracted. It happens a lot if you haven't noticed."

"I have noticed. I think it is cute."

Grinning happily I took his hand in mine and kissed it gently. This is where I felt my happiness come from. I loved this man more then I thought I could ever love someone.

Charles leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I believe I was getting addicted to the taste of his lips. It was like that tea he was always drinking. It was a good thing I liked tea.

Underneath that there was something that was just pure Charles. It was that taste that made me want so much more from him. I knew that I couldn't push him though. Not on this.

"Your eyes," Charles said softly.

"What about them?" I asked confused.

"They're silver. What does that mean?"

I felt my heart freeze at that. My eyes had never been that color until a few weeks ago. When I finally figured out that I was in fact in love with the beautiful telepath. Ever since then I'd been avoiding having him see the color.

It was a difficult thing to do since the lust that I felt whenever we were kissing always seemed to slowly change into love. I had been luck before that he never noticed the color.

"Jazz?" Charles asked kissing my lips once more.

"What do you want it to mean?" I asked pulling away from him.

A soft blush came to Charles cheeks before he rested his head on my shoulder. It was perfect having him in my arms like this. It was everything that I hoped it would be and I never wanted it to end.

"Love," Charles said blushing, "I want it to mean that you love me."

"Why?" I asked running my fingers over his jaw.

"Because I love you."

"Good. I love you too, Charles."


	7. Silver

**Silver = Love**


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